Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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