i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i drank out of a bidet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
