I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
