so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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