Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
