I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize