His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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