I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
