Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
