They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
