the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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