U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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