Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
