Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  OMG. Drunk.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

  (718): View more from New York

  Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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  (718): OMG. Drunk. (662): I'm so glad you fill me in on these things. (718): Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter. http://tfl.nu/my1k
  Replies (8) Good night (1286) Bad night (702)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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  (417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (2719)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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  (732): I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered. http://tfl.nu/02c6
  Replies (18) Good night (4528) Bad night (1154)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia

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  (705): my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia http://tfl.nu/20or
  Replies (5) Good night (4894) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON

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  (843): REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON http://tfl.nu/qqb2
  Replies (12) Good night (1422) Bad night (2642)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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  (702): We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9xyn
  Replies (13) Good night (926) Bad night (2475)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.

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  (719): Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life. http://tfl.nu/ggam
  Replies (4) Good night (2180) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.

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  (239): Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day. http://tfl.nu/tiwu
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.

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  (570): I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/odgi
  Replies (5) Good night (1347) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

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  (313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu
  Replies (12) Good night (1056) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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  (630): I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo. http://tfl.nu/gaw2
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home

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  (860): Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home http://tfl.nu/znwv
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.

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  (805): I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses. http://tfl.nu/vuhx
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.

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  (510): Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party. http://tfl.nu/gdgl
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (245)

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