who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD