Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
