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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

  (817): View more from Texas

  could you get any more awkward?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably take note of that and make it happen.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!

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• (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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