Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(703): View more from Virginia

She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

(540): View more from Virginia

Ew, and?!

(703): View more from Virginia

Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

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(770): View more from Georgia

That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(904): View more from Florida

Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"

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