i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
