i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
