using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
