I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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