weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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