Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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