Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
