just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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