So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
