You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
