That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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