totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
only you would photoshop your dick
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize