good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
