Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize