I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
