omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i love accidental penises.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
