guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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