i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
