I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
