Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
