I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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