Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
