If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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