Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
