I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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