Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
