so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
