Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
