Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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