dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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