If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
