ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
