Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So apparently I’m into choking now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize