Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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