I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
