she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently you make a good broom.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
