i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the day after is always just damage control
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
