i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
