the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
