I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
