HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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