can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
