i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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