after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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