I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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