i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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