And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
