you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
