wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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