i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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